Moving On: An Empowered Approach to Letting Go of Relationships
So, you’re going through a break-up? The bad news is that break-ups are rough. But the good news is you will, in fact, survive (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now).
However, too many people use toxic and self-destructive tactics to get over break-ups. An empowered and compassionate will serve you much better, so try to follow these tips instead.
Let yourself wallow.
Don’t try to force yourself to immediately bounce back or pretend you’re okay. Give yourself time – a few days, not weeks – to wallow. Wear your comfy sweats, eat ice cream, watch Netflix, and just indulge your sadness.
But once those days have passed, make self-care your top priority. Get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and spend time outside. Treat yourself to a massage, a bubble bath, or a brunch date with friends.
Don’t make contact.
You might have urges to text, call, or e-mail your ex. But reaching out to them right after the break-up will only make you feel worse. Create a plan to distract yourself when that urge hits, and turn your phone off if you have to.
Unfollow their social media accounts.
Don’t keep track of your ex from afar, either. Refreshing their Facebook page, checking for new Snaps, or scrolling through old Instagram photos will only make you feel worse. Unfollow or block them on all your social media platforms. Better yet, this is the perfect time to take a digital detox and free yourself of social media altogether.
Write in a journal.
While you’re grieving a break-up, writing in a journal can be cathartic. It helps you get your feelings out, put your thoughts into words, and reflect on what you’re going through. Even if you’re not someone who normally keeps a journal, this could be the time to start.
Talk to people you trust.
It’s only natural to want to talk about a recent break-up. Talking it through gives you a chance to vent, which can be useful in itself. It also helps you make sense of what you’re going through and process your feelings about it. Plus, knowing that you have friends or relatives to talk to will help you feel more supported and less alone.
Don’t broadcast the details.
Talking to someone about your break-up is a healthy way to cope with it. But posting about it publicly is not. Try to resist the urge to write Facebook or Instagram posts with all the gory details of the break-up or complaints about your ex. It will only reflect badly on you, and you’ll probably regret it later.
Make some small changes.
Dramatic “break-up haircuts” have become cliché, but the idea behind them can be helpful. Changing some small things in your life is a good way to encourage yourself to move on. Rearrange your furniture, try out some new recipes, or give yourself a mini-makeover.
Everyone processes break-ups differently, and what works for one person won’t work for everyone. But trying to be gentle with yourself and mindful about your actions will help you move on and leave you feeling more empowered.
About the Author
Jen is a freelance writer, blogger, and yoga teacher who left her office job in Boston to travel the world with her husband. She previously worked in international development and academic research, and served as a Peace Corps volunteer in Rwanda. Some of her biggest passions include promoting responsible and mindful travel and helping her students develop their personal yoga practice.